Transcript
In life, especially as kids, we can be taught different myths and believe things because we’re told them, or because they’re popular, not because they’re true.
You may have been taught things like you only use 10% of your brain, you have to wait 30 minutes after eating to swim, or you learn best by using your learning style. The thing is, those things aren’t true. They’re just often believed because it’s popular, and it’s repeated because it’s popular. It’s the same with leadership.
Often things are repeated because they’re popular, not because they’re true. And if you follow these myths, it will drastically hurt you as a leader. What are these myths? My name is Thomas and let’s find out.
Myth 1: You need to know your leadership style
The first myth is that you need to know your leadership style in order to be an effective leader. People say that if you know your style, then you can be the best you that you are to lead the best way you can be. But that’s false for many reasons.
First, what is often referred to as leadership styles is just functions as a leader. It’s like a carpenter saying, “My carpentry style is sawing wood.” It may be their preference, it may be what they like, but if they focus on that, they’re not going to be an effective leader.
Things like being diplomatic, coaching, delegating, and so on are just functions you do as a leader and you do it when it’s needed, just as a carpenter does the different functions of carpentry when it’s needed. It’s not about you or your preference or what you like, It’s about doing what’s needed to accomplish the goal.
Similarly, sometimes people think that the style depends on your personality and so on. And that’s partly true, but the thing is, just because we lean toward a certain way doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Some people lean toward being a jerk and doesn’t mean it’s good.
Sometimes we lean certain ways because of insecurity or arrogance. That doesn’t mean it’s good. Sometimes we have certain areas we need to grow in. We don’t just do what we like we don’t just dive into what we lean to, we do what’s needed and what’s good.
More than that, leadership isn’t about your preferences or personality or style. It’s about principles. If you follow the principles of leadership, then you can adjust your style based off the principles. But principles come first, not style.
Myth 2: Just be yourself
The second myth is that you should just be yourself. Be your authentic self. That sounds good, but it’s not helpful. and it will hurt you as a leader. Again, leadership isn’t about you, it’s about doing what’s needed to accomplish the mission.
Steve Martin on his interview on Adam Grant’s podcast said that just being your authentic self would be us sitting on the couch eating potato chips. Jim McCormick and the other authors of The First Time Manager said that one of the worst pieces of advice is to tell new managers to be themselves because they’re focused on what they’re good at or what they like,
not what’s needed.
And especially with leadership, doing what’s needed for the mission, not just what you’re comfortable with.
Myth 3: Follow your strengths
The third myth is that you should follow your strengths. And I get where people get from this because you often do want to focus on what you’re good at or what you know and then hire and get other people to do what you’re not good at. And there’s truth to the concept of work your strengths, hire your weaknesses.
However, we can take this to a level that’s not healthy and that’s not right. Because again, leadership isn’t about you, it’s about what’s needed. Sometimes there’s things you may need to grow in to be an effective leader. You may not be good at it, it may not be a strength, but you need to make it a strength if you want to be effective or if you want to accomplish the mission or whatever it may be.
It’s not about your strength, it’s about what’s needed. Some things you can delegate, some things you can’t.
And sometimes things aren’t our strengths or we don’t like them because we’re just not good at them yet. We haven’t practiced it enough. If you’re not good at public speaking, it’s not that, well, you’re just not good at public speaking. No, it’s that you haven’t taken the time to learn and practice it. If you want to be good at it, you can. You just have to take the effort to do so.
Everything’s a process. Everything takes time. If it’s something worthwhile learning, take the time to learn it and make it more of a strength instead of just saying it’s a weakness and not doing anything about it.
Myth 4: Follow your preferences
Number four is that you should just follow your preferences. Now, I know nobody actually posts that on LinkedIn or such or say, “Hey, you should follow your preferences as a leader.” But the way they ask questions basically says the same thing.
Often you’ll see, how do you like to lead? What do you like? Do you prefer to lead from the front, the side, the behind, whatever it may be? What’s your preference when it comes to leadership?
the thing is, when people ask that question, it doesn’t matter how you respond, because everything’s OK. As long as it’s you, as long as it’s your preference, it’s all right.
But that’s just fault. Again, leadership isn’t about you. And just because you call something leadership doesn’t mean it’s good or that it will be effective.
In fact, you can call anything leadership, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to move people toward the goal or that you’ll be an effective leader. It’s not about preferences, it’s about principles and following the good principles of leadership.
Myth 5: Leadership is about you
Myth number five, leadership is about you. Now, if you notice, we’ve covered this concept a lot and the first four actually fit into this one, but we need to dive a little deeper into this topic.
First, Brendan Burchard in his book, High Performance Habits, talks about a coaching client who called him to task, who gave him an ultimatum about helping him be more productive. This is what the client Tim said. He said, “But look we know my supposed strengths, and they’re still not helping me get ahead. My natural tendencies don’t do the job. As a leader I have to be honest sometimes it’s just not about who I am, what I prefer, or what I’m naturally good at. It’s about me rising to serve the mission, not the mission bowing down to match my limited strengths.”
There’s so much truth to that. Leadership isn’t about you. It’s about you rising up to accomplish the mission and doing what’s needed for the mission, not lowering the mission to meet you or your preferences or whatever it may be.
More than that, sometimes leaders come into leadership with the wrong mentality. They think leadership really is about them. It’s about the reward of being in that leadership position.
It’s about the perks they can get out of that leadership position. It’s about the respect or growing their career or whatever it may be.
First of all, I think it’s important to point out that being in a leadership position doesn’t mean you’re actually leading. But second of all, that’s a completely wrong mentality because the right mentality is one of service. Leadership isn’t about you. It’s about you serving the mission and serving your team to accomplish the mission.
And with that, it’s about you doing the hard work of leadership and holding people accountable and so on to make the mission happen. It’s not about you and your comfort or what you like or the rewards. It’s about you doing what’s needed to make the mission happen.
Myth 6: Leaders are born, not made
Myth number six. Leaders are born, not made. Now, when a baby is born if the fluorescent light is flickering in the right frequency, if the mother ate two cups of cottage cheese exactly two months to the day before the baby is born, if the moon is a full moon or at a waning crescent, then that baby will be born as a leader.
The heavens will open up, a light will shine down, and an invisible seal of leadership will be put on that child’s head.
Obviously, that’s not true because leaders aren’t born, they’re made.
Often people think leaders are born because they feel like they have to have certain traits to be a leader and that those traits are things you’re born with or you’re not. But that’s not true. Leadership is a skill, and like any other skill, if you take the time to practice and learn it, you can become good at leadership.
As Alex Hormozi says in his video, How to Win at Anything, traits are just groups of behaviors that can be learned. If you want to get good at those traits, one which we’ll talk about in the next myth, then you just need to take the time to learn the behaviors and do it and you can learn that trait.
Leaders are made, you can learn how to do it. Leaders are not born.
Myth 7: You need charisma to lead
Number seven, leaders have to be charismatic to be a great leader. And this goes back to number six some, because sometimes people think that leaders are born because they have to have charisma, and charisma is something you’re born with or not.
But that’s not true. Charisma is like any other skill or trait. It’s a group of behaviors that you can practice and learn. Not only that, charisma is not needed for leadership.
Jim Collins in his book Good to Great found that the majority of great leaders that he found in his study were not charismatic. Charism in itself is not bad, but it does not make a leader.
Myth 8: Leaders must have all the answers
Myth number eight, leaders have to have all the answers. That’s not true. Your job as a leader is not to know all the answers, but to find the answers.
As leader you should be hiring great people who know more than you do in different areas so you can listen and learn and make best decisions based on listening to other people. When you try to pretend you know when you don’t know, it just hurts you as a leader and you seem fake.
You’re not meant to know everything, but you’re expected to try to learn and make the best decisions and move them forward the best you can, which often comes from listening and admitting that you don’t know.
Myth 9: A leadership position means people will follow you
Number 9, a leadership position means people will follow you. That’s just not true. People may do stuff because of your position, but that doesn’t mean you’re leading them.
If you use your position to make people do stuff, you’re forcing, not leading. Leadership is built off influence, not position. When you build influence, whether you have a position or not, then that’s when you can lead people toward a direction, toward a goal.
Just having a position doesn’t mean people will follow you.
Myth 10: You must be in a management or leadership position to lead
Number 10, you must be in a management or leadership position in order to be a leader. That’s just false. Like we said in the last myth, leadership is built off influence. If you have influence with people, it doesn’t matter if you have a position or not because you can lead people because you have that influence.
If you have the influence and the direction to take people, then you can take those people there. Though we sometimes call positions a leadership position, leadership isn’t a position, it’s an action. It’s a skill.
Myth 11: Leadership is only for those in top management positions
Number 11, leadership is only for those in top management positions. This myth is one reason we get confusion between leadership and management. Because they think you have to be a CEO or executive to be a leader and everybody else is a manager and they don’t lead.
But that’s not true because managers are leaders, too, because you’re leading people toward a goal. Leadership isn’t a top management position. Again, it’s a skill that’s built off influence. And anybody in any position or no position can lead.
Myth 12: Being in a leadership position means you know how to lead
Number 12, being in a leadership position doesn’t mean you know anything about leadership. Sometimes when people get into leadership positions, they just assume they know how to lead because they are in the leadership position. And then they don’t listen well, and they make bad decisions, and it hurts everything because they have that misconception about what leadership is and their ability to lead.
At the same time, sometimes people think that just because someone is a CEO or an executive that they know how to lead. That’s just not true. And if you look at the results of many companies and the company’s failing and low engagement rates and the morale and culture of many companies, then you know that many people in leadership positions don’t really know how to lead.
Being a leadership position doesn’t mean you know how to lead. Those are two separate things.
Myth 13: Leaders should always be “strong”
Number 13, leaders should always be strong. They should be unemotional and never show vulnerability. That’s just not true. And Brené Brown in her books talks about this concept, that vulnerability is a strength not a weakness.
And when you try to hide your weaknesses, when you try to hide your mistakes or when you don’t know something, when you’re afraid to connect with people, that just hurts you as a leader. It doesn’t help you.
You don’t have to try to put on this facade of a leader as being this strong and emotional person. That’s not what great leadership is.
Great leaders connect with their people. They show vulnerability, they admit mistakes, and they move forward and do greater things because of that.