Listen on your favorite app:
Transcript
Leadership is built off influence. So if you want to be a good leader, you have to have influence. Because if you try to make people do things by your position and authority, you’re not really leading, you’re forcing. And there’s a difference.
So then that leads us to two questions. First one is, what is influence? And the second one is, how do you build it?
A great definition for influence when it comes to leadership is this: It’s the relationship and respect you have with your team or others that causes them to act for you and with you.
So then, how do you build that influence with others? Influence is also the reason why you don’t have to have a position to lead. You just build that respect and relationship with others and then lead people somewhere because of that. So then, how do you build influence with others? Let’s look at some ways.
1. Be someone they can trust
You have to be someone they can trust. Because think about it, if they can’t trust you, why would they follow you? For you, if there’s a manager or boss who you can’t trust, do they have much influence with you? Do you have much respect toward them? Probably not.
Trust is a foundation for influence.
So how do you build trust with people? Well, you tell the truth. You do the right thing even when it’s hard. You’re ethical. You’re moral. You’re reliable. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it. You follow through on what you say. People can rely on you.
You hold confidence as well. When people share something, you don’t share it with other people. Be honest. Tell the truth.
Being someone people can trust is a major first step to building influence with others.
2. Trust your team
Second, you have to trust your team. Just as you be someone they can trust, you also have to show trust to others. And that trust to others also affects their trust to you because if you don’t trust them, they’re not going to trust you as much.
So how does trusting others build influence?
Well, think about with you. If you have a boss who tries to control everything you do, who doesn’t trust you to make decisions, who’s always over your shoulder making sure you do it right, do they have much influence with you? What’s your respect toward them? Does that affect your trust some with them?
You see, you need to show trust to others. You give clear expectations, you set the guidelines, you offer support and training, what they need, and then you trust them in their jobs.
Giving trust builds goodwill toward them, and then that reflects back on you.
3. Build relationships and care
Third, build relationships and care about your people. You see, if you don’t care about people, you’re not going to have influence with them.
Now, relationship doesn’t mean you’re BFFs or you’re hanging out all the time or whatever it may be. You just get to know your people and you care about them.
Now, you probably can think about in your own life when you know someone doesn’t care a thing about you, they don’t have much influence with you because they don’t care. But when somebody cares about you and then they give you feedback, you’re more likely to listen to it. You’re more likely to have more respect toward them and they’re more likely to have more influence with you.
I don’t have a secret formula on how they care, you just need to care about your people and their well-being and them as people. To build relationships, you just get to know them. Make sure you know their names. Make sure you know something about them. Ask how they are. Tell them good morning.
Just get to know them and care about them, and that can go a long way in building influence with them.
4. Take ownership and share credit
Fourth, take ownership and give credit away.
You see for many leaders it’s easy, when things go poorly, they blame others. They blame circumstances, they blame the economy, they blame their team. And think about it, if they’re blaming their team for the problems, does that really build influence with them? No.
But it also makes you look weak as a leader. If every time something goes wrong, you blame, that makes you look weak toward others and it hurts your influence with people.
Not only that, think about when people give credit to one another. If the CEO is on stage and they’re praising a leader for what their team did, and the leader goes up and said, “Yes, I am awesome. I made everything happen,” do you think the team’s going to appreciate that? No.
How do you think that’s going to affect the relationship with the team, the respect, the influence? It’ll hurt it.
But if the leader says, “You know what, it was my team. They worked really hard to make this happen.” That builds influence with them because you’re passing the credit to them.
And even if another department or other people were involved, then you call them out and thank them for that. Think about what that does. That builds influence with them. And people are more likely to want to work with that leader because of that.
When things go wrong, don’t blame, take ownership. When things go well, pass the credit. Do that and that will build a lot of influence with others.
5. Admit mistakes and when you don’t know something
Number five, admit your mistakes and admit when you don’t know something.
You see, sometimes leaders think they’re supposed to know everything. And if they don’t know something, it hurts their image as a leader. People won’t respect them as much. Or maybe people will question, “Why do we make this person a leader?”
Or they think, man, if I admit I made a mistake, they may think, I’m not supposed to make mistakes as a leader. If people see my mistakes, what will they think about me as a leader? The thing is, both of those mentalities are wrong.
As a leader, you’re expected to make mistakes because you’re a human being. It happens, it’s part of learning, it’s part of growth. If you’re not making mistakes, if people on your team are not making mistakes, it’s because you and them aren’t trying.
Vulnerability, as a leader, isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. When you admit your mistakes and when you don’t know something and just ask for input, people respect you for that. When you try to hide it, often, first of all, people generally see your mistakes anyway, so they lose trust with you and you look fake.
And the same thing when we don’t know something, eventually it’s going to come out that you don’t know, and you’ll look dumb because of it, and it will hurt your influence with others. When it comes to not knowing something, it’s better to ask the question and look stupid instead of staying stupid.
Ask the question, learn the information you need. Remember you’re not expected to know everything. That’s why you hire great people and listen to others because others know things you don’t, and you can learn a lot from others.
6. Ask for feedback
Number six, ask for feedback. When you are someone who accepts feedback from others, that builds goodwill with people and they respect you for that because you’re not being pretentious, you’re not pretending that you know stuff or you’re this great person or responding negatively when people disagree with you or say something.
You are someone who’s willing to learn and be humble and better themselves.
When someone comes to you and critiques something you said or offers a suggestion and you just say “thank you,” that looks good on you. You don’t have to agree with everything, you just accept it well. If you go to someone and say, “Hey, I would like your feedback about this, how I did in the meeting (or whatever it may be), you won’t hurt my feelings, I just want to get better.”
That builds respect and influence with others. Also think about it this way, as a leader you should be giving feedback to your team so they can improve. We should all have a growth mindset, and it’s about learning. Feedback should be normal.
You should want it, and they should want it because that’s how you grow. If you don’t accept it yourself, why do you think your team would accept it? Something to think about.
7. Serve the team and the mission (not yourself)
Number seven, serve the team and the mission, not yourself. You see, sometimes leaders get into leadership with the wrong motive. They are about them and their career, are about what they can get out of it, the perks, the parking spot, the respect, the rewards, extra money, whatever it may be, the whole point of being in that leadership position is about what they can get out of it.
And if that’s their motive, if that’s their mentality, how do you think it affects them as a leader?
Say for you, if you know your boss is just about their career and what they do is not for the good of the team or for the organization or the mission, it’s about advancing themselves. What kind of respect are you going to have toward that person? Probably not a lot.
You see, when you’re self-centered, that hurts your relationship with the team because they see that. They won’t respect you, and you will hurt your influence with them because of that. But if you have the right motive, the service motive where you’re about serving the mission and serving your team so they can accomplish the mission, and you’re about your team and helping them be their best, that is building influence.
So a great key to building influence with people is being someone who has the right motive who is about serving, not about themselves.
Now, one aspect about leadership and influence is that it’s a process. It takes time and you gotta keep learning and growing into being a better leader and to build your influence.
