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Transcript
Hey everyone.
A few episodes ago we talked about consensus and how you don’t want consensus in your meetings, in your team, because sometimes you know it’s seen as the golden thing that everybody agrees, everybody gets along, yada yada yada. But you don’t want it because when people aren’t disagreeing.
That means, first of all, they’re not feeling safe speaking up, which is not healthy. But it’s also, you don’t want it because you’re not getting disagreement. You’re not getting the other viewpoints. You’re not getting the other ideas. And that’s dangerous.
And sometimes it happens as leaders, we make it that way. Because one of the dangers of the things that we can do is that we start focusing on our idea and being about our idea versus being about the best idea.
So we present an idea. This is the idea, this is what we should do. And then we do everything we can to defend that idea. People try to put it down, people try to argue against it, and we may shut them down, we may get angry, or whatever it may be, we shut down other ideas because we want our idea.
And of course that’s really dangerous because then you don’t get the best idea. People start sharing ideas, and they actually, when you are like that, they’re not going to respect you as much anymore. You’re gonna lose influence when you’re about your idea versus the best idea. You just are because you’re just about yourself.
But more than that, so first of all, first part of this, you don’t want to be about your idea and be about the best idea. But you want that mentality for everyone.
Because what also happens is when you’re trying to discuss ideas and debate whatever situations, is that we can sometimes attach our worth to an idea. Or we attach ourselves to the idea.So when we present an idea, whether you or anybody on your team and someone disagrees with it, you think they’re disagreeing with you.
Or if they talk negative about your idea, you think they’re talking negative about you. And that’s a really dangerous mentality to have because you’re not about finding the best idea and finding the best solution. You become entrenched about defending why your idea is the best.
And that’s dangerous because of course you’re not going to find the best idea because you’re just stuck on your idea or your team, someone, your team’s stuck on their idea and that’s a dangerous place to be.
Your worth, your value is not determined by whether your idea is chosen. Your goal or should be of your whole team should be finding the best idea, the best solutions, the best ideas. You want an environment where people feel safe.
When they disagree, when they bring up an idea, they don’t feel judged, they don’t feel like they’re going to be made stupid, everybody supports them, even if it’s a silly idea, everybody’s there as a group, support, safe. They bring it up and then you debate ideas.
And if it turned out your idea was just kind of silly and stupid, okay, you brought it out, it was something that was an opportunity to discuss, and you found that it wasn’t the best idea. It’s not an attack on you in any way, it’s just you’re finding the best idea. It does not reflect you in any way, you’re just, it’s just an idea.
We need to stop attaching ideas to ourselves so that we can find the best idea.
As a group, depending on your group, it may be a good idea to set that expectation.
“Hey guys, we are about the best ideas. It’s not about me, my idea. It should never be this is Tim’s idea, this is Joan’s idea, this is Jeanne’s idea. These are just ideas that people have shared and we’re discussing ideas. They’re not attached to anybody.”
So as a leader, make sure that you don’t attach yourself to an idea and that you’re not about trying to push your idea, but that you’re about finding the best idea.
And with your team, try to help everyone develop the mindset of an idea is not attached to any person, you’re just about finding the best idea.
